I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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