We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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