dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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