I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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