I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
