One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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