That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
