two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
