I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
