would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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