I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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