There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Buhtt sex?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
