ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
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Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
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Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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