Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
