when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize