I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
