Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
