I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
