I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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