At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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