It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
