All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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