So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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