Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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