I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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