if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
