I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She even gives head with a lisp.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I know her cup size but not her name....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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