I have demons in me.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
