Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
