How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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