i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize