Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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