i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
