some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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