So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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