I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
