Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize