laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
