Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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