I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize