five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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