There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up under a house in Key West
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
