OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
