I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize