I got chris browned last night
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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