we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
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The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
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I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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