Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Pants are for mortals
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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