My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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