Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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