Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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