You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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