Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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