I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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