I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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