i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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