he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
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I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
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btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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