no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
