and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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