Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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